I hadn’t planned to say it out loud.
“Your first day of school.
Learning to ride a bike.
Whatever you were like at fifteen.” I stopped.
“I’m not saying that to make you feel guilty.
I just — I need to say it once.”
“I know,” Claire said.
“And your children,” I said.
“I have grandchildren I’ve never met.”
Tom leaned forward.
“Their names are Rosie and Daniel.
Rosie’s eleven.
Daniel just turned eight.” He took out his phone, turned it to face me, and set it on the table.
Two children on a beach.
Rosie had Claire’s dark hair.
Daniel had a gap-toothed grin and was squinting into the sun.
I looked at the photograph for a long time.
“They know we’re here today,” Tom said.
“Claire called the house before I left.
Rosie asked if she could come.”
I looked up.
“We told her not yet,” Claire said quickly.
“We wanted to — we needed to do this part first.
Make sure it was real.” She paused.
“But she asked.
I thought you should know that.”
I nodded.
I didn’t trust my voice.
“James,” Anna said.
It was the first time she had used my name since the kitchen table.
“What do you want?
From all of this.
What are you hoping for?”
It was the most honest question anyone had asked me all day.
“I don’t want to take anything,” I said.
“I’m not here to insert myself into a life that was built without me.
I know I don’t have the right to that.” I looked at Claire.
“But if you’re willing — I’d like to know you.
Whatever that looks like.
Whatever pace makes sense.
I’d like the chance.”
Claire was quiet for a moment.
Then she said: “I’d like that too.”
Tom put his arm around her shoulders.
Outside, the afternoon was tipping toward evening.
The light through the window had gone gold.
“There’s one more thing,” Anna said carefully.
“Something I didn’t mention earlier because I wasn’t sure how to bring it up.”
We all looked at her.
She reached back into her cardigan pocket and placed a second envelope on the table.
Smaller than the first.
More recent.
The paper was white, not yellowed.
“This came three weeks ago,” she said.
“Before Carol passed.
She must have sent it when she knew she didn’t have long.”
Claire leaned forward.
“What is it?”
