Tom looked away at the window.
Anna made a small sound and covered her face.
“She knew,” I said, when I could speak.
“She knew what she had taken from both of us.”
“Yes,” Claire said.
“She knew.”
We sat with that for a while.
No one rushed it.
It was Tom who finally spoke, and he spoke quietly.
“I want to say something,” he said.
“And I hope it doesn’t come across wrong.” He looked at me.
“Claire has had a good life.
A full life.
She had a mother who loved her and worked herself to the bone for her.
She had friends and school and a career she loves.
She has me, and she has Rosie and Daniel.” He paused.
“None of that was your fault.
And none of it was a consolation prize.
It was a real life.”
“I know,” I said.
“But,” Tom said, “a real life can also have more in it.
That’s what I think.” He looked at Claire.
“That’s what I think.”
Claire leaned her head against his shoulder for just a moment.
Then she straightened up.
“I want you to meet them,” she said to me.
“Rosie and Daniel.
Not today — today has been enough.
But soon.” She paused.
“If you’re willing.”
“Yes,” I said.
“Whenever you’re ready.”
“There’s something I want to ask you first,” she said.
“Before we go any further.” She looked at me steadily.
“What was she like?
Carol.
What was she actually like?”
The question surprised me.
I thought about it honestly.
“She was warm,” I said.
“Funny, in a dry way.
She remembered everything — birthdays, names, the small things people mentioned once and forgot they’d said.
She was a good cook.
She was stubborn.” I paused.
“She was a good wife.
For thirty-six years, she was a good wife to me.
And I think she spent thirty-six years knowing what she’d done, and not knowing how to undo it, and choosing wrong every time she had the chance to choose right.” I stopped.
“Until the end.”
Claire nodded slowly.
“That’s enough for now,” she said.
“That’s enough to know.”
She picked up Carol’s letter and folded it carefully along its crease.
She put it in her bag.
She would keep it, I understood.
She would read it again later, alone, and feel whatever she needed to feel about it without anyone watching.
“I should get home to the children,” she said.
